Facebook and a Guy Called Kanda
by The Sky Is Endless
Summary: Kanda wants a Facebook account. Warning: OOC characters. Read and review please


**Thanks to the _ingenious _idea of one of my story reviewers, I wrote this story. So, this shall be dedicated to you, Pokemonlovers.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own DGray-man.**

**Note: Honestly, I don't even know how Facebook works. I mean, to be truthful, I don't find the point of it. Sorry if I get something wrong.**

**This will be told in Kanda's POV. Sorry for OOC-ness.  
**

**Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Facebooking

_Yuu Kanda has 8,104 friend requests._

To think it was only yesterday that I rejected most of my 7,185 requests. Once again, to think I only signed up to Facebook three days ago.

On the computer screen, I saw countless of names that I didn't recognise.

_Lavi wants to be your friend!_

I didn't think much of that, but because I actually knew him, he was the only one out of the 8,104 people that I knew. I accepted his request and deleted the rest.

Out of the tens of thousands of requests I had already received, I only accepted five. Allen, Lenalee, Komui, Lavi and for some strange reason, 65.

My internet disconnected then so I fixed it up and refreshed the page.

There was one comment.

_Yuu, ma man. Since when were you socially active?_

That was obviously an insult...

I wrote back.

"I was never socially challenged, Lavi, and call me Yuu one more time and you'll be wiped off this earth. Remember, I know where you sleep."

A few seconds later, I got a reply.

_Who_ _said you were never socially_ _challened, YUU. I mean you rather spend time meditating than out for a party or something._

Well obviously. Meditating calms the soul.

"For your information, many people would prefer meditating than going out for a party. And I told you not to call me Yuu."

_FYI, 'for your information' is shortened to 'FYI' on the net._

"Four f's, 3 y's, 5 i's."

_Dude, you don't count these things._

"I like counting."

_Kanda, did I just see that correctly? I mean, your pro is like, boring and all but wtf?_

Oh great, Allen's here.

"Fyi, Beansprout, I don't spend three quarters of my life on useless internet sites."

_Says the person who's spends ages stuffing lotuses in hourglasses._ **(A/N: If you don't get that, read **_**"The Feeling is Mutual" **_**if you can be bothered to that is.)**

"Hey, all I said was that it was hard to do so. Not that I do it on a daily basis."

_Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. And stop typing to yourself. You do realise you're meant to go to my profile and reply instead of replying in your own?"_

... I knew that

I took the liberty of looking at Allen's profile.

_Allen Walker has 1,250,315 friends._

And I thought there were limits to the number of friends you could have.

On the comments part of his profile, there were multiple messages totally in caps lock.

_MARRY ME ALLEN-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!_

_I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!1_

_YOU'RE THE BEEEEESTTTTTTTT, ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Gee this guy has a lot of fangirls.

There was one comment on the page which wasn't totally in caps lock. It was from Lenalee.

_You sir, have too many comments being added in such rapid succession. This will be the last time I go on your page._

Indeed my computer was starting to lag by the speed Allen's love confessions came in.

This was the point when I closed my Facebook window.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Oi, Yuu."

"What is it, Lavi."

"You -"

"Suck," Allen finished off.

"..." No comment.

"I was going to say something else but that'll do, Allen," Lavi said, giving him a high-5.

"Not to disrupt this little moment but please. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM," I yelled.

"Says the socially retarded man who eats soba all day," said Lavi.

"And spends time stuffing lotuses in hourglasses," Allen added.

"That's it, OUT." I drew my Mugen.

"Geez, Kanda. All we wanted to do was have fun," Allen said.

"Yes, Yuu. Lighten up," Lavi agreed.

I had a sudden urge to impound both their heads into their skulls.

"Why did you get Facebook anyway, Yuu?"

"No idea."

Why did I get it?

"Some wonders of life shall never be explained."

With the point of my Mugen pointing haphazardly at his neck, Allen inched away from my expression, dragging Lavi along with him.

Gooood choice.

When they were gone, I reopened the Facebook window. There was a new message.

_Haha. Yuu, you're addicted._

_"_No I'm not."

_Close Facebook then._

"Fine, I will."

---

At night, when everyone was sleeping, I opened my laptop.

Now.

For some _Facebooking._

_

* * *

_**... I just ruined a perfectly idea.**

**This story _sucks. _I know. No one needs to flame me for it.**

**Review anyway.**

**Peace.**

**Sky~  
**


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